dark days

[merideath]

 I'm having a little rant here because really nobody really reads this and that's what I view lj for.. for the dark secrets and rants that cant be expressed anywhere else.

I'm in a wee bit of a depressive funk.. I'm still somewhat functional.. I have had far worse days, weeks whatever... I know what tipped it off it's the same as always I always fall into a hole in the weeks or months after visiting my parents in the states. I't just so damn frustrating feeling incapable of motivating myself to do anything. my creativity has drained away and I have a half finished story that keeps glaring at me to finish it, and I'm so behind on my blogging. I had some good days last week when we were all out together doing family stuff but I hate feeling so damn useless. I want to do stuff I really do but I just can't do anything till just before Matt and H come home then it's like someone pulls my strings and I bust into action cleaning, cooking whatever.... I know it will go away and the more I think about it the worse it becomes... circles round and round my head. 

mini rant over... time to try to sort some housework before they get home. the puppet masters returneth

Comments

[simithedemon.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you feel so crappy dear

I'm glad that you at least know that it's not a permanent state of mind. Don't put pressure on yourself about the blogging/craft etc because that (ime anyway) just makes things harder. Better to do things because you want to rather than because you think you have to.

I get what your saying about a creative lull though. I haven't written for 18 months, or at least I haven't completed a fic for that long. I have a thousand things to do (and btw, when it's more appropriate I want to pick your brains about Etsy) and yet I seem to end up on here randomly clicking on things.

BTW, I thought housework was supposed to be done in a mad rush 10 minutes before the school run...?

Hope you feel better soon x

[merigirl.livejournal.com]

you can pick my brains about etsy any time. Give me something to think about. I have written half a fairy tale for the Steampunk Red Riding Hood doll I made (and haven't blogged yet) but the story keeps getting away from me. .. I haven't really done much more writing other than the doll stories and I miss it.. I haven't been reading much either but a random assortment of fanfic... I considered writing a few things myself but just... meh... you know?

I feel like I should get all the housework done in the morning then have the rest of the day but it never happens that way... I just want to shake out of the funk I'm in.

[lanterndaemon.livejournal.com]

xxxxxxxxx