dark days

 I'm having a little rant here because really nobody really reads this and that's what I view lj for.. for the dark secrets and rants that cant be expressed anywhere else.

I'm in a wee bit of a depressive funk.. I'm still somewhat functional.. I have had far worse days, weeks whatever... I know what tipped it off it's the same as always I always fall into a hole in the weeks or months after visiting my parents in the states. I't just so damn frustrating feeling incapable of motivating myself to do anything. my creativity has drained away and I have a half finished story that keeps glaring at me to finish it, and I'm so behind on my blogging. I had some good days last week when we were all out together doing family stuff but I hate feeling so damn useless. I want to do stuff I really do but I just can't do anything till just before Matt and H come home then it's like someone pulls my strings and I bust into action cleaning, cooking whatever.... I know it will go away and the more I think about it the worse it becomes... circles round and round my head. 

mini rant over... time to try to sort some housework before they get home. the puppet masters returneth